Turbulence at the Top: Offering Feedback Upward
It’s one thing to approach a co-worker whose performance is less than expected, but what happens when the miss comes from above? You’ve worked hard to build trust and create an accountability cadence with your team, but suddenly the leader at the helm (think… CEO, VP, or top executive) demands, but doesn’t deliver their part. What now? Does rank matter when it comes to missed expectations and accountability?
Spoiler: It shouldn’t, but extra care might be required. Read on to capture a few helpful Words.
When the Words you want to share are aimed up, sometimes “Say nothing” is a strategic, and the appropriate, decision. Perhaps you don’t have a relationship with that senior leader. Perhaps you have a relationship, but no or little trust capital between you. Perhaps you have tried to offer an insight or two before with little payout.
Sometimes the easiest reaction is to stay quiet, hoping that things will go back to normal. It’s tempting to avoid confrontation, hope someone else will address the issue, or wait for a leader’s retirement (never advised unless that date and party have been announced.) But saying nothing in the face of declining leadership performance can be detrimental to the entire organization. When you stay silent, the leader may never realize the impact their behavior is having on the team’s productivity, engagement, and the organization’s culture overall.
Weigh the ROI of approaching said leader with your concern. if you are in a position to help them see the impact of their negligent ways, consider giving it the good ol’ college try. Ensure that your reason for doing so is to support their success (vs. point out flaws), then get to work and prep for a meaningful conversation.
Remaining silent (when you shouldn’t) doesn’t just erode morale — it sends a message that you’re willing to tolerate poor leadership, setting a dangerous precedent for the future.
Reacting out of frustration or emotion can also backfire. A sharp comment like, “We’ve been waiting for your decision for a month. This is so frustrating!” or a snarky, “Any plans to respond to my 5th email request for that data?” may vent your feelings, but it will do more harm than good. In addition, venting your frustrations with peers or employees via the gossip channels will only exacerbate the problem. That will only ensure trust has been broken all around. These kinds of reactions can damage relationships, put the leader on the defensive, and close off any opportunity for a constructive dialogue. It’s also called a “CLM”…a “Career Limiting Move”…a move that won’t help your brand or career.
Rather than lead with an unchecked emotion … pause and prepare. Saying the wrong thing, in the wrong way, can deepen misunderstandings and worsen an already difficult situation.
The best way to approach a leader's shortcoming is with kind candor and empathy. You’d be surprised how little feedback executives actually get. No one wants to be a tough truth teller…especially when their paycheck hangs in the balance. That said, those who show tact and courage in such conversations exhibit the very leadership qualities executives look for when promoting talent into roles of greater influence. If the conditions and context are right, open the conversation with an invitation to reflect and respond rather than react. Remain curious, not judgemental. You could say something like:
"I’ve noticed some changes in your approach lately, and I’m a bit concerned about how it’s affecting the team. I have a few ideas on how to resolve their concerns if you’re interested."
“Jody, you’ve been really transparent with me which has only added to my success here. That makes me believe that you would want me to do the same for you. I’m concerned about you. Are you open to a couple of observations?”
“Admittedly, I’m a bit nervous for this conversation, but I know you would want me to share any concern I have. I’m finding it difficult to move forward with the xyz project until I get abc from you. I know how busy you are, what is a realistic deadline for you and this task?”
“Jose, I know you’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress lately. That stress seems to be presenting itself in uncharacteristic ways. Would you be up for a cup of coffee and a few examples tomorrow morning? I’m here to support you however I can.”
“Suri, I know you are extremely busy. Your calendar is blocked out for the next 6 weeks and that seems to be paralyzing the team and our progress. We can’t move forward without your input or decisions. I wouldn’t be coming to you if I didn’t think this needed to be prioritized. Can the team get 20 minutes with you tomorrow to solve for this? We will be prepared to offer a few suggestions, of course.”
This approach keeps the focus on support and solutions, not blame or criticism. Leaders are human, and sometimes they just need someone to notice and offer well constructed insights.
Next Steps: Navigating the Situation
Find the Root Cause: A sudden shift in behavior often points to deeper issues like burnout, health concerns, or personal struggles. Before assuming anything, try to understand what might be driving the change without making it office gossip.
Document the Changes: Stay objective. Keep track of the specific changes in behavior and how they affect performance. This helps when you do have the much needed conversation or if you need to escalate the concern to HR.
Engage HR: HR is there to support executives performance too. If leadership struggles are impacting the business, HR can step in to facilitate conversations or provide external resources like coaches.
Involve their Manager: If internal efforts aren’t working, it may be time to raise the issue with their manager. They have the responsibility to hold their employees accountable just like the rest of us. That stated, you might not be the most appropriate person to host that conversation. Consider engaging HR for guidance before going straight to the top [see reference to ‘CLM’ above.]
This is a tricky one. We’d love to think that all humans want feedback, appreciate feedback, and will act on our feedback but that is simply not the case. We are a complicated species. Executives can be even more complicated when you add in tenure, experience, power, pressure, etc.
Thank you to our subscriber, Shannon, for the topic suggestion! If you have a scenario you would like us to include in a future issue of The Words Newsletter, please submit a summary (see below) and we will do our best to give you the WORDS you need in a future issue.JOH
"Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others."
Jack Welch, Former CEO of General Electirc (GE)
“The measure of a leader is not the number of people who serve him but the number of people he serves."
John Maxwell, Author and Speaker
"If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.""
Dolly Parton, Entrepreneur and Author
Don’t stop now! Learn more from a few of our personal fav resources below:
Disclosure: The resources shared and listed by KKL & Co. are those that have been evaluated to be of high value to our leaders. We are proud affiliates for some of these resources, meaning if you click a link and make a purchase, we earn a nominal commission at no extra cost to you. Please don’t spend any money on these resources unless you believe they will help you become a better human.
